I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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