8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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