"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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