She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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