Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize