Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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