buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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