He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
not ubering you a puppy
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