Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
