i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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