After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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