I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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