nutella sex= disaster
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
