But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
