cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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