Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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