I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
