Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
