It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize