We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
