just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize