I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
