yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
