am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
