yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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