I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
