My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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