why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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