She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
