She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
