'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
