I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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