I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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