And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize