Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
