I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
