the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
