in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize