i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize