You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
