Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
