It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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