i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
