Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Someone signed my nipple.
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