What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
