I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
