I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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