in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
