I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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