I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's like iHOP with fire
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
