Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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