11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
too bad you live with your parents still
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
