A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
