its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
