I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
