i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
