Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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