...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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