is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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