it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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