Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
