if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
