my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
